i was pretentious / by Ellen Sorensen

i was pretentious 

about the knowledge i'd acquired 

and it turns out

i was very unprepared

 

not intelligently, no no

but emotionally 

 

for who could know 

that something so wonderful 

could simultaneously bring up 

your most sacred fears

 

i've lost myself in this 

this new, this care, this endeavor

i'm consumed with the constantness

the unrelenting demanding effort

 

and i'm scared

"is this what i want for my life?"

"am i ready to sacrifice everything?"

yes and no.